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(30s, 40's, 50s, 60s and up) "HOW TO DATE YOUNGER WOMEN (IN THEIR TEENS
OR EARLY 20s)"

by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Monday, September 19, 2011 at 11:43am


If you want to see what a certain percentage of men who date think about women, you can find out by reading the website of someone called DeAngelo. His latest dating "Newsletter", which is intended for young guys and men (older ones too apparently) gives frank advice to "older men who want to date younger women". He goes into specifics which include tricks to convince a young girl that you are sophisticated and in charge. DeAngelo says there is "nothing wrong with dating girls 10, 20, 30 or more years younger than you."  He calls this newsletter "HOW TO DATE YOUNGER WOMEN".

DeAngelo sees nothing wrong with men who "trade in their 40 for two 20s" because "a young girl brings excitement and energy to the relationship while looking up to you for your sophistication and command of the situation." He gives tips for not turning the girl off by your behavior by being playfully teasing which he calls being "cocky and funny".

Maybe there isn't anything wrong with this picture. Maybe young girls should date older men. Or is there something more to it that DeAngelo doesn't mention?

We wonder how DeAngelo and these "older men" he advises regard the "40" -- the woman who has spent her 20s and 30s with a man she thought of as a true life-partner -- who then gets dumped when he decides to trade her in for a young girl after she has spent her own youth with him.

One comment he makes in the advice column of his newsletter is that he "intends to follow up this column with one on Dating women old enough to be your Grandmother" which he comments will have a lot fewer readers"  He adds:  "LOL". 

Is there anything slightly ugly about this? Yes.

The reason DeAngelo's column is worth reading is so you can learn to avoid ever getting involved with or used by guys like this.

Unless you want to be the "40 who is traded in for two 20s" after you've spent your own young years with a man you thought was worth your time, you should turn your back on this kind of guy immediately. He is a user.

Choosing the right guy is the most important part of dating. It is the most important part of finding a man you want for a lifetime. We'll say it again:  Choose the right guy in the first place. Choose a true Alpha Male (not one of these manipulative juvenile men who, despite their old chronological age, never achieve grown up emotional status).

A real Alpha Male builds a pack. For his pack he wants, and chooses, a top female partner, which is you. Read how to identify the NON Alphas (pages 15 through 23) in the book.

And follow the clear pointers in the book for finding a genuine Alpha Male.  Don't waste your time with losers.


25% of all proceeds
helps abused and
abandoned dogs


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by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Friday, August 5, 2011 at 5:37am

What should you do if you're living with a guy you love, but in your heart you want to be married to him? And mere mention of the "M Word" makes him duck the question?

You may be facing a huge problem. It can seem like there is no answer to it.

Yet, there is a solution.  This situation can be turned around 180 degrees. ALPHA MALE/ Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want/ How to Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One by XX & XY gives you exactly the answers you need to get the man you love to propose marriage.  Even if you've tried everything you can think of and it hasn't worked until now, this answer is the one that can work.

You know he is "the one". But you've lived together for six months, a year, two years, or even longer. And he just doesn't seem interested in marriage. When you try to bring up the subject, he changes the subject. Or says something like this: "Why spoil a great relationship? Let's not talk about it right now."

You have fun together. He tells you he loves you. You've put everything you've got into making a great life with him. You're giving him some of the best years of your life. You don't want to nag, act needy, or become angry.  You don't want to seem desperate. Yet you may feel all these things, and with justification. It can seem like the problem without a solution.

A lot of women began living with the man of their dreams while they were still in their twenties. It seemed like a way to get closer to him. They believed it would naturally lead to marriage.  A few years later a woman can find herself in her thirties -- and although he says he loves her, he won't even discuss marriage.  ALPHA MALE/ Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want/ How to Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One by XX & XY has shown countless women in this very situation exactly what to do to turn things  around.

These women, too, were "stuck" in living-with relationships. Using the advice in ALPHA MALE/ Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want/ How to Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One by XX & XY, they got the proposal that had seemed an impossible dream.

Each of these women went on to marry and have a great life with her husband (and yes, being married is different from living together, no matter how good living together may be. Full commitment makes all the difference).

Here's the danger:  If the man you love won't propose marriage, sometimes the unthinkable happens: One day he suddenly says: "I think I need more space for a while" and leaves. (Sometimes he even marries a younger woman almost immediately. And now another girl is taking your place with the guy you've poured your heart and soul into for all these years!)

You're facing a big problem: Male commitment. 

ALPHA MALE/ Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want/ How to Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One by XX & XY shows you exactly what to do, spelled out step by step, to go from no-win to full commitment and marriage.

There is a specific formula that  deals with male commitment. It has been proved to work countless times for many, many women.

ALPHA MALE/ Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want/ How to Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One by XX & XY is not a "course" costing $750, $800, or more. It's not a subscription for "lectures by experts" requiring you to sign on for a series of CD's costing hundreds of dollars and taking up hours and hours of your time. 

ALPHA MALE/ Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want/ How to Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One by XX & XY is a book for interacting with men; a book of tactics and strategy, short and to the point. Everything in it is heavily field tested by real men and real women.

These strategies have worked for many, many women in situations just like yours.  It costs about $24 on Amazon.com --  Not a lot of money, if it can change your entire life for the better.  

If you seriously want to marry the guy you live with, buy this book --  (to cut direct to the chase, turn to page 104 and read  "What To Do If He Hasn't Proposed Within Six Months". All of Chapter 5 deals with this subject, though, and will all be useful).

Check out the reviews (go to www.youralphamale.com and hit the link to Amazon). Many of these reviews were written by women in your situation who are now happily married because they used the solution in this book. (Hit the button saying Newest First to read the latest reviews).

Remember the title:  ALPHA MALE/ Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want/ How to Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One by XX & XY. This book can change your life. Starting right now. 

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by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Friday, August 5, 2011 at 5:34am


Some guys are natural born leaders. They never follow the pack; the pack follows them. They have that certain instantly recognized quality termed "cool". 

These guys are unafraid of a fight but don't waste their energies being scrappers. They generally succeed at whatever they choose to do. Whether it's running a giant corporation or a tiny grocery store somewhere in backwoods Maine, they think for themselves. When they walk into a room people stop, and notice (it's because of their confidence).

They love to win and they're good at it. There's a term to describe them: Alpha Males. Correctly used, it's taken directly from studies of the wolf pack:  The undisputed leader is the Alpha Male. (Parallels between wolf and human Alpha Males are close and strong.) 

Alpha Males are sought after by women. The most gorgeous women nearly always want Alpha guys. ALPHA MALE/ Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want/ How to Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One by XX & XY is an awesome new book about Alphas. 

One guy who read the book described it:  "Like an X-ray of girls' minds. Like getting behind enemy lines."   (To see his review, go to www.youralphamale.com and follow link to Amazon.com, Reviews, Newest First).  

If you are yourself an Alpha Male, get the insider's edge. Learn what women know about Alpha Males, and the tactics and strategies women use to meet and attract Alpha guys.

You gain an awesome advantage. A concise, tightly packed book of strategy and tactics that women use to meet Alpha Males, ALPHA MALE/ Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want/ How to Attract, Meet,Marry & Train One by XX & XY gives you, straight up, all their secrets. You get a close-up, factual report of how women think and what they do when they want to meet an Alpha guy and have him take an interest in her.

Most guys have no clue what women think about guys. They can pay as much as $750,  $800 or even more for "courses" that promise "success with women" -- yet they don't actually learn what they really need to know, which is how women think about them and why. Guys can pay hundreds of dollars for a series of CD "expert lectures" that, besides being expensive, require a commitment to buy a certain number, and take hours and hours to listen to.

ALPHA MALE/ Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want/ How to Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One by XX & XY spares you wasted time and wasted money. You can turn directly to the parts you want without wasting your time.  For practically the cost of a couple of drinks, about $24, you'll come away with awesome inside information that gives you a huge advantage you can use immediately to meet and attract the most desirable women.

This isn't about pick-up lines or posturing. It's gnarly and down to earth: It will give you everything you need to know about what women are thinking and how they operate around guys. 

Instead of yet again trying out your tired old pick-up lines to attempt  to meet a new vibrant, sexy, fun woman, (or captivate the one you've already got),  go to www.youralphamale.com, click on Amazon, and buy this essential book.

Nothing else will do for you what this book will. You'll know stuff other guys don't. You'd have to be a moron for this not to improve your game.

Remember the title:  ALPHA MALE/ Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want/ How to Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One by XX & XY.  Go to www.youralphamale.com and click on the link to Amazon. Buy the book and gain a major, major advantage with women.

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by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Monday, August 1, 2011 at 7:06am

Here's the solution to your problem for meeting the coolest guys: 

You can meet very cool guys and make them interested in you.   Want to meet that one special guy for a lifetime?  You are about to learn something that can literally change your life. 

Go to youralphamale.com website for ALPHA MALE/ Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want/ How to Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One by XX & XY. Get in a glance who the truly cool guys are and how you can meet them. Think we're kidding? Read on:

Do you even know who Alpha Males really are?   (Hint: They're not Bullies. They're not angry, abusive "Type A behavior" guys. They're not guys who look and sound great until things don't go their way, then fall apart and blame you).

Alpha Males are natural born leaders. They think for themselves. They act on cool assessment of what they observe. They love to win, and they're good at it. They often have a dry and funny sense of humor, fun to be around.   Alpha Males walk into a room and everyone stops, and notices (it's because of their confidence).

Gorgeous women nearly always go for this kind of guy. Yet women of average looks, finances and opportunities very often date, marry and have a fabulous life with these guys too. How do they do it?

ALPHA MALE/ Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want/ How to Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One by XX & XY gives you the inside track. You'll learn exactly what motivates them (and no, it isn't sex alone!), and how to go about meeting and captivating -- head, heart, body and soul --  one of these top echelon guys. It's perfectly possible if you know exactly what to do and how to do it. The book is packed with actual case histories of women who have done just that. This book will become your secret weapon.

Skeptical? Try it. We'll say it again: This book can literally change your life. Remember the title:  ALPHA MALE/ Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want/ How to Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One by XX & XY.

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by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Monday, July 25, 2011 at 5:19am

Q:      I am a fairly attractive girl age 24. I have no job right now and I am living at home with my parents despite having a degree  from a community college. My time is spent sending out resumes and doing odd jobs like babysitting. I also go out quite a lot, usually with one or two girlfriends. Last week a girlfriend and I went to Fridays which in our area gets regular type people. Two guys came over to us we had never seen, good looking, and a little bit older, and they asked if they could buy us a drink. They did and we sat at a table together. They seemed really interested in us. One of them said we were too foxy for a place like this, they knew a cool place one town over and why not go there. My girlfriend and i thought ok, why not? So we got in their truck (new and well kept, so we thought they were ok) and drove almost 15 miles before we got to a place where we didn't like the look of it but we went in. There were mostly guys there, and the girls we saw didn't impress us too much. We decided we didn't want to stay, but the guys said just one drink and we'll go back so we said ok. 

I dont remember driving home, and I dont remember anything else from then on except my mother found me on our front steps of our house in a big wet pool. I threw up over and over for most of the night and ended up getting taken to the hospital. My girlfriend also had the exact same thing happen. They had probably put something in our drinks. We were also given AIDS testing. My question is how could we tell a good guy from a bad one when you meet them? We honestly thought these guys were ok, but the hospital said it was date rape (AIDS negative TG). We also had to answer questions to the police.

A:    Yours is a horrific story. You were the targets of predators. And it happens more often than a lot of people think. You can't assume people are who and what they say they are until you have fairly solid proof. The mistake was to  trust these two losers enough to get into their truck. If you meet a guy you know nothing about, don't go anywhere with him until you meet at least a few people who know him. If he says he has a job, call and see if it's true. Take note of a vehicle license number. And if something makes you uneasy about either the guy OR his friends, cut things off right there and stay away. Today so much is wrong with our culture: no jobs, no prospects for a lot of people, a perception by lots of young guys that "women have taken over, they took our jobs, now they're stealing our masculinity" -- a great many are angry and frustrated. Predators like the two who attacked you and your girlfriend come out of the woodwork in times like these. They act on their anger and frustration, and they mostly take it out on women (an easy target). 

Bars are probably the LEAST likely place to meet  guys worth meeting. For some suggestions of much better places to try, take a look at pages 47-- 53 in the ALPHA MALE book. I hope you meet some great guys -- and most are. 

-- XX 

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by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Monday, July 18, 2011 at 6:18am

5.0 out of 5 stars

April 9, 2011

By wingforward1stXV

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Alpha Male: Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want, How To Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One (Paperback)

A girlfriend asked me to read this book to see how guys react to it because it compares men to wolves, and she wanted to know if men will be offended by it. I certainly wasn't, and I don't think any guy who is confident about himself will be. Wolves are actually pretty cool. In fact I thought the book is pretty much on the mark, and also very, very funny in places. The only guys who could be offended would have to be a guy who is trying to impress somebody with how macho he is, and as this book points out, such guys are not alpha males. I really enjoyed the book. I think women need to read it more than men, because a lot of women are not very smart about what makes guys tick.

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Get goin' girls!!

by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Monday, July 11, 2011 at 6:08am

5.0 out of 5 stars 

April 19, 2011

By B. Davis "crazy about books" (Beautiful Northwest USA)


This review is from: Alpha Male: Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want, How To Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One (Paperback)

This book is so cool! It seems to understand men, how they think, and how to get them to fall in love with you and stay that way. If you have had a difficult time with that guy that you are interested in, just follow clearly written directions in this book for romantic success. All the 5 star reviews can't be wrong. Truly awesome reading. Get goin' girls!! 

(Thank you to the author for my review copy.)

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by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Tuesday, July 5, 2011 at 7:44am

5.0 out of 5 stars 

May 3, 2011

By Kokabiel

 ("From Hell", USA)

This review is from: Alpha Male: Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want, How To Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One (Paperback)

I am an Alpha Female and I just drool over this book...I have read it a few times and each time, I just think wow...while I don't have one yet, not a human one anyway, I DO have a Guardian Angel who is an alpha male, and let me tell you he is strict! He's so freaking strict! But I love it :) I really like this book though, it sounds like the authors really know what they are talking about, and I've seen guys like this anyway, at least in high school...well, long since then too. But I didn't know I wanted one for a long time, possibly because I am an Alpha Female--we are good at dominating, and we DO--until an Alpha Male comes along....anyway if you are a woman and you really think you would like and be able to handle this kind of guy, this book is an excellent how-to manual...

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Did Kate Middleton read this book? One of book's authors was also a student at University of St. Andrews, Scotland

by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Monday, June 27, 2011 at 6:11am

5.0 out of 5 stars

May 10, 2011

By royalwatcher

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Alpha Male: Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want, How To Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One (Paperback)

I’ve been watching the royal wedding in England on You Tube and also reading a lot about Kate Middleton, because she is an alpha female and prince William is obviously an alpha male. I am sure that most of the girls at St. Andrews would also say he is an incredible "catch”, so how did Kate beat them all out and win the Prince? It's interesting to see that Kate did many of the things that Alpha Male (book) advises. 

For example Kate Middleton always went to places after class where she thought William would show up, and this let him observe her with her friends, before she "noticed" him. Her fashion show runway modeling a see-through dress was a very original way for him to get a really good look at her before she interacted with him! Letting the guy notice you first and begin to become interested in pursuing you is an important step to starting off in the right direction according to the book, and Kate certainly followed that plan exactly. 

The newspaper stories said that at one point after she and Prince William had been seriously involved for quite a while, there were "commitment issues". What did she do? Kate walked out of the relationship. This is just what the book advises you to do if the guy you are serious about is not showing equal commitment to you. And look what happened- after missing his girl for awhile, William must have realized he couldn't have her in any second rate arrangement, recognized her true worth, and did the smart thing and proposed. 

William had to pursue Kate to get her back, which strengthens the bond between them. I think he will stay in love with her. 

I wonder if Kate Middleton maybe read this book? One of the book's authors was also in fact a student at University of St. Andrews, Scotland, where Kate Middleton and Prince William were both students. Hmmmmm!

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by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Tuesday, June 14, 2011 at 5:24am

On The Couch With Dr. Michelle,    INTERVIEWS "XX" ABOUT ALPHA MALES


Rated the Number One talk radio show on the Internet,   LA TALK RADIO On The Couch With Dr. Michelle has an interview you need to hear if you're interested in great guys -- meeting them, having a relationship with them, or finding real love and commitment with one. 

Get ready for some new ideas -- these are insights you probably haven't found anywhere else! You'll learn a lot from listening.

Dr. Michelle, a highly regarded psychologist, whose successful practice is located in Los Angeles, is a leading advisor on relationships. She interviewed XX, one of two authors of  ALPHA MALE/ Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want/ How To Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One by XX & XY.

The interview, which lasted an hour, took place on April 8, 2011. You can hear it, free, on your computer.

Because Dr. Michelle herself is married to one of the coolest Alpha Males in existence, it was especially fun to speak with her at length about this book.

Dr. Michelle and XX discuss who Alpha Males are, what they want in a woman, how they feel about the women they have sex with, what kind of woman they want for true commitment, how girls and women can meet these top-of-the-pack guys who seem to "have it all" -- they are the leaders who most women want, yet, paradoxically, are the men most likely to accept genuine input from a trusted woman partner -- and a whole lot more tremendously important information about guys in general and Alpha Males in particular. 

This interview has gained a good deal of positive feedback from listeners: ("Awesome information!" is the most frequent comment). 

Tune in!  Go to http://www.latalkradio.com/Players/Docmichelle-040811.shtml and scroll down to the April 8, 2011 date.

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How Does Anyone "Train" an Alpha Male?

by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Monday, June 13, 2011 at 5:49am

5.0 out of 5 stars

May 9, 2011

By Fromaguy'sperspective

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Alpha Male: Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want, How To Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One (Paperback)

I liked this book from the moment I read its title, referring how to train Alpha Males, which was clearly meant in a humorous way since alphas are top-echelon leaders and nobody "trains" them! So I bought the book and read it, and here is what I found. Sure enough, use of the word "train" is a witty reference to the interactions between males and females, and clearly not meant to be taken literally. If you look at Chapter 7, which lists "101 Training Tips" it is actually pointers for women mostly (don't whine, play fair, make life fun when you're together etc) and not about changing the guy at all. It's about giving women and girls some good ideas for getting along with guys in general and alphas in particular, and not by sublimating their own personalities to that of a man, but understanding clearly where he is coming from so you can work with and not against his natural masculine instincts. This is really useful information. A lot of the women I've met who seem unhappy in their relationships with guysdo not have any idea about it. 

There is also an outstanding formula for resolving arguments with an Alpha Male which everyone should read. 

The "training" refers to communicating well (that is, without screaming and posturing, but just discussing issues). Discussion is a learned skill, and one that has been lost in today's world of short cut "communicating" via gadgets like texting. Yes, you CAN communicate by e-mail and texting, but it does not replicate a face to face or, as the book advises, a side-by-side walk, to discuss what you disagree with in a manner that will actually resolve the disagreement and allow you to move on with a reasonable degree of harmony. 

Harmony in a relationship is also a concept that has been swept under the rug in today's culture (of celebrity worship and television, which has largely replaced books -- even the best tv writers dont bring you the viewpoints to be found in the wise books of the ages). A lot has been lost in our way of life today, in my opinion, and this book brings us back to taking a look at what a real relationship can be and, I think, should be. Unless you have the concept in mind, how can you make the kind of relationship you want for real happiness on a long term basis? 

I think this book makes a valuable contribution. People who read it, both men and women, will understand a lot about each other and why, in a general sense, each other functions in certain ways. Allowing for individual exceptions, which the book does, they have done a great job of making some really important things clear, which will give people the understanding to create a great relationship. 

Get this book and read it. Very highly recommended.

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"Modern Girls" miss the whole point of this book

by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Monday, June 6, 2011 at 8:20am

5.0 out of 5 stars 

May 19, 2011

By  janinetorcherphd

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Alpha Male: Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want, How To Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One (Paperback)

I read a review saying this book is not meaningful to girls today because it isn't written by someone who is "in the dating scene now". The reviewer, who sounds like a young girl, says it sounds like the authors "came of age in the 80's" and this upsets her. She is also upset the book doesn't talk enough about cell phones and texting (which are barely mentioned in the book). 

When somebody thinks this book is not "modern" enough they are missing the whole point (or they didn't actually read the book). The point is this: Men are different from girls (surprise!) different biologically and even in the way their brains are constructed, and you can't change that. It should come as no surprise that they behave differently and are motivated differently from girls. 

Some things about both men and women have changed little, if at all, over hundreds of thousands, even perhaps millions of years. No amount of being "up to date" and "modern" is going to tell girls anything useful, because it is irrelevant. Text messages and cell phones, the toys of the moment, do not make males and females any different in substantive ways. 

It is the substantive differences that "modern" girls need to learn about. Their lack of knowledge of these differences causes many of them to have terrible interactions with guys, over and over. Many girls I see today are confused and depressed as a result, and they go from one bad relationship to the next. Yet the subject is teachable, even easy to learn (and extremely interesting), if you take a minute to find out how it works. 

This book gets right to the important point about the ways in which many, even most men act, think, and feel instinctively and emotionally in a lot of different circumstances that come up when they interact with girls and women. Are there exceptions? Of course, but by and large the patterns seem to me to be typical of most guys. If girls can understand "where guys are coming from" (and it isn't the same place girls are coming from, in most cases) they will know what they need to build a happy relationship with guys that they will have fun with and not be hurt by. 

Most girls today have almost no idea about what motivates guys. Many are not told any of the things you need to know if you want to understand guys so you can interact with them in a way that will lead to a great relationship. What girls need to know is here in this book. Lots of today's "modern" girls will find the information is 180 degrees in the opposite direction from what they now think. 

My own two girls are reading it (ages 13 and 15). It should be required reading for all the girls now blundering around in confused, unhappy relationships with guys. This great little book can change their lives, literally. If you are a "modern" girl, by all means read it. 

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No more e-dating ! This book works way better!

by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Tuesday, May 31, 2011 at 5:19am

No more e-dating ! This book works way better!

5.0 out of 5 stars 

May 20, 2011

By cinderellainbaltimore

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Alpha Male: Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want, How To Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One (Paperback)

I read this book and it’s the reason why I stopped e-dating. This book's advice is way better. I was on two of the e-dating sites for over a year. I went out on quite a few e-dates and they never "felt" right. Plus I never met guys on e-dating sites of the '"type" I want to meet/get involved with. 

e-dating puts you on the defensive, because if a girl/woman goes on it they are advertising on a billboard that they want/need a guy. e-dates always felt "strange" to me, and I never knew why until I read Alpha Male. You can learn a lot from this book. 

By the way, girls, read up on who/what an alpha guy actually is! You could be in for some surprises here! They are not what I used to think they are. When you do know who they are, you probably won't even want to consider any other type of guy from now on. It saves you a lot of time once you know how to tell the difference. Also, I doubt if alpha guys go on e-dating sites, they don't need to. That's not where you meet real alpha guys. The book tells you where to go and how to meet alphas and get them interested in you. 

This book gives awesome advice, also it is easy to follow. I'll never go back to e-dating because the book's advice works better.

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From a Recent Comment on AskMen.com:

by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Thursday, May 26, 2011 at 5:33am

  • Why is everybody getting so angry? 
  • The term ALPHA MALE is a real term that started out meaning one thing and later changed to mean a lot of things; it has come to mean pretty much whatever anyone says it means. Yet it originally had a true meaning, and that is worth knowing about.
  • Here's the history of the term:  For years Arctic wolf packs have been closely studied by scientists. You can google films of wolf packs and see Alpha wolves (as well as others) in action. The term applied specifically to the leader of the pack. He is usually but not always a big impressive male. His brain chemistry makes him act certain ways -- not usually with brute force, but by making moves that indicate he may use brute force if necessary -- and other wolves show respect. They follow his directives, which are quite specific, in hunting. He indicates with body language where each wolf should position him/herself, and the whole pack functions as a unit to drive prey into a channel made by carefully positioned wolves who then work together to bring even a large animal down. 
  • The better the leader (Alpha Male) is at his job, the better the pack eats. He also leads attacks on invading wolf packs that try to encroach on his hunting grounds (No turf, no food). 
  • The offspring of the Alpha Male and Alpha Female are usually the only cubs allowed to live.  If others are born to other wolves, the Alpha Female usually destroys them (usually they don't even get conceived). The genetics of the Alpha pair provides new members of the pack. All the lesser members (Betas and lower status) look after the cubs as "aunts" and "uncles". 
  • Flash forward to approximately the 1980's or maybe early 1990's. Advertising writers picked up the term Alpha Male and used it widely in advertising copy to sell products like cars, clothes, electronics, even male scent (there is one actually called Alpha Male). They used the term loosely and any way they wanted. 
  • At that point the general media picked the term up from advertising and threw it around in any way they wanted to. You can find it used to describe a true wolf-model Alpha, a Bully, a Charismatic Phony who makes all the right moves but has none of the substance, a Blowhard who loves to act like an Alpha but never succeeds at anything, and so on. 
  • No guy wants anyone else telling him what or who he should be, or judging whether or not he "measures up" by someone's standard other than his own.  Add to this the incredible loads of bull that girls and women have been force fed about guys over the past years (at least since the mid-nineteen sixties) and what you end up with is what could politely be termed a right mess. 
  • The book ALPHA MALE/ Who They Are, How They Think/ What They Want/ How To Attract/ Meet, Marry & Train One (don't steam, that last is meant as a joke)  by XX & XY, has some good information on the male/female  interaction, and it is closely based on the original wolf pack model. XY was a career US Army officer, now dead, who was a true Alpha, and who commanded young men in two wars and knew a lot about young guys and courageous behavior. He was awarded the Silver Star for heroism in battle.  His wife XX wrote down the things he said and added information to help girls and women get a better grip on what they should, but often do not, know about guys. She also interviewed a great many Alpha Males and quoted them directly in the book (their quotes are fascinating and appear in boxes labeled "Alpha Males In Their Own Words"). 
  • The book is on Amazon.com. If you want to look at some reviews, push the button for "Newest First" or you'll get the early ones by the author's friends, mother etc. 

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Like an X-ray Of Girls Minds. How Cool Is That?, April 24, 2011

by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Monday, May 23, 2011 at 9:50am

5.0 out of 5 stars 


Alpha Guy Says

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Alpha Male: Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want, How To Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One (Paperback)

This book tells a lot about Alpha guys, enough so you can easily tell if you are one or not. That part is really interesting. 

But what's even more cool is it gives you almost like an X-Ray of girls minds and what they are looking for in Alpha guys. Sort of like breaking an encrypted code and getting behind enemy lines. 


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This May Be The Definitive Book On Alpha Males

by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Monday, May 16, 2011 at 5:37am

A review on our book from a buyer on amazon.com.

5.0 out of 5 stars THIS MAY BE THE DEFINITIVE BOOK ON ALPHA MALES, April 25, 2011



Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Alpha Male: Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want, How To Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One (Paperback)

This book tells the real story about men who are leaders. There are other books that deal with the subject, but several things set this book apart.

This book tracks alpha male behavior to its origins. The causes for the way alpha males act today are based on factors inseparable from the male psyche that go back millions of years; here are just three, among others cited in the book:

-- survival (building a strong pack to have allies),

-- protection of territory (hunting grounds to provide food)

-- obtaining the best female (reproduction of healthy offspring for continuance of the alpha genetic identity).

A key part of the book tells how to identify all the men who try to act like alpha males but are not the real thing. The authors list a dozen or so types and describe their characteristics so you won't confuse them with real alphas: for instance bullies, type "A" behavior males, blowhards and so forth.

The arguments by the co-authors, an alpha male and an alpha female (very happily married to each other), present both male and female perspectives on such interesting questions as how a MALE feels the next day after sleeping with a woman.

The points are direct and well supported. The book makes its case with clarity, wit, and humor. It is well organized and easy to read.

For women seeking a relationship with a true alpha male, this is by far the best book on the subject I have found. For men wanting to learn the defining characteristics of alpha males, this book is required reading.

This may well be the definitive relationship book on alpha males.

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A review on our book from a buyer on amazon.com.

by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Monday, May 9, 2011 at 6:36am

­­Girls Just Want To Have Fun

5.0 out of 5 stars Girls Just Want To Have Fun, March 28, 2011



Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Alpha Male: Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want, How To Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One (Paperback)

We are two English major recent college graduates. We've been good friends since the first day of college and we now share a tiny apartment. Today, with nobody hiring English majors, we work cleaning our neighbors' houses, which actually pays quite well. (It is equivalent to going to the gym, only we get paid). We are not raving beauties, but we look good and are nice people. We are NOT interested in getting married. We just want to have fun. And we definitely like guys of the type described in this book as "alpha males". (We saw the book described on website http://youralphamale.com/)

Sooooooo... we bought the book, thinking it would be a laugh to try it out, and that we could then write an article on the experience and pitch it to the local newspaper just to see our names in print. But OMG, as texters say, It actually works!

We went to three of the places listed as possible haunts of alpha males in the book, and in two out of three we saw guys we were interested in meeting. We then did exactly what the book said to do, again thinking it was a really amusing adventure and would be a bust, but it worked like clockwork and we ended up meeting a total of three really interesting (and good lookin'!) guys. Now we plan to continue with the book's advice, and see what happens. We're set to date two of the guys next week, and to tell the truth, we can't wait to go out with them. (We'll have to duke it out over the third guy).

What we like about this book is its emphasis on decency: having and showing respect, and, if you marry, absolute loyalty. It is also about having fun, and making the male-female connection entertaining as well as sound and meaningful in the long term. This is no "man-hater" book. It is clear the authors really like and admire men. The book is an engaging description of how to meet and then develop a great relationship with a guy. (It's well written and funny, by the way).

We both recommend this book to anyone who is looking to meet great guys. It definitely worked for us!

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Are You An Alpha Male Or A Bully?

by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 6:55am

Are You An Alpha Male Or A Bully?

Alpha Males get the best jobs and the best women. Find out if you have what it takes to be the ultimate man.

By XX,

Page 1: Are You An Alpha Male Or A Bully?

Are You An Alpha Male Or A Bully?

Two guys both work at the same corporation. Both are in middle management. Both are decisive, and both seem confident. But one is an Alpha Male, and the other is a Bully.  

How can you tell the difference? Is it possible you yourself are one or the other and don't even realize it? Why should you even care?   

Well, to be perfectly blunt about it, true Alpha Male guys almost invariably end up with the most desirable women. Women almost always look for Alpha guys for fun and, also, for long-term relationships and even marriage. But a Bully, although he may succeed for a while, will eventually show his true colors, and that gorgeous woman who fell for him initially dumps him and goes off to find a genuine Alpha Male.    

Another reason to pay attention: Alpha Males are true leaders. Most Bullies are actually cowards hiding behind an aggressive facade. An Alpha Male is a problem solver. A Bully causes the problem. Which one do you think is more likely to get promoted to a higher position at his job?   

For these two reasons alone, it may be worth your while to decide if you are a Bully or an Alpha Male. Let's look at each of them at work:   

Scene One: 

At a staff meeting chaired by a Bully, a junior staffer makes a blunder in his presentation. The Bully ridicules him, calls him stupid, tells him loudly he may not be on the team much longer if he doesn't shape up -- all in front of everyone present at the meeting. 

The Alpha Male calmly corrects his factual error, moves on, takes him aside later and explains in detail where exactly the staffer went wrong, how to fix the problem for future, and answers his questions about how to do his job better.

What's the difference?

The Bully always seeks the limelight. He tries to dominate every scene and uses abusive, loud language and aggressive body language to intimidate.   

The Alpha Male looks at the job at hand and takes the most direct route to getting it done while always being respectful. Self-image doesn't cross his mind. 

Scene Two:

A few guys get together for lunch. The Bully does most of the talking.

The Alpha Male mostly listens and keeps his own counsel. 

What's the difference?

For The Bully, it's all about himself and his successes because he cares desperately about whether he is impressing people. He is always worrying about his image. 

Alphas don't need to impress anyone. It never even occurs to them to do it.  

Scene Three:

As leader of a project team, a Bully dictates his demands, refuses to hear input from team members and threatens dire consequences if his demands are not met. Morale of the team plummets, as guys feel it's a shut-up-and-do-as-you're-told environment.

An Alpha Male leader explains goals, assigns tasks, solicits input from his troops, and leads by example. He assesses the situation and goes directly toward making it happen. Team morale is high, as guys feel they are on a winning team. 

What's the difference?

The Bully makes it hard for others to function. Everything a Bully does and says has this question behind it: "What will it do for my image?" Everything else is secondary. Thus, he not only is a pain to work for, but he actually robs the corporation of the full functioning abilities of all the workers he intimidates.

Discover if you're an alpha male or a bully...

Page 2: Alpha Males And Bullies

An Alpha Male is a pack builder and natural leader. He leads by example. 

What Makes An Alpha Male An Alpha Male?

A scientist trying to understand the neurological processes that made Joe Montana such a legendary player asked, "Do you see the ball, take a step forward and then throw it?"

"No," said Montana. "It's all one thing: see-step-throw. There's no separation. I'm not even aware I'm doing it until after the ball has left my hand."  

All Alpha Males are like this in the way they move through life. They see a situation, make an assessment that is logical and will usually work, based on prior experience -- although this process is often lightning fast -- and act. There is no separation. It's all one seamless action: "see-act-result."   

What Makes A Bully A Bully?

Now consider the other sort of guy. He's also assertive, decisive, direct, not afraid to express himself, and often gets things done on his own terms. He isn't afraid of anyone he goes up against, but he only goes up against someone he knows he can dominate. Is he an Alpha Male?    

The guy just described is often mistaken for an Alpha Male by people who notice his decisiveness and energy. He almost certainly will want to be thought of as an Alpha Male. But this guy is no Alpha Male. He is, instead, a Bully.   

How Do You Know The Difference?

One quick way to test out the difference is to watch what happens when an Alpha Male runs into opposition and when a Bully runs into opposition. The Alpha Male is always (usually coolly) paying attention to what's going on and is alert to ways to make the things happen the way he wants them to. He regards the world as a place he can influence by paying attention and acting whenever he sees opportunity. He does this naturally; it doesn't occur to him that he can fail once he's headed toward his goal. It may take more than one try, but he won't give up until he achieves his goal or else assesses the situation and decides -- himself -- that he needs to change what he's doing in order to achieve what he wants. Then, when he's sure of his course, he'll try again and again until he succeeds. So what happens when he makes a real mistake?   

If he makes a mistake, an Alpha Male takes note of what he should have done, learns what he needs to learn and moves on. Unlike non-Alpha Males, he doesn't go over and over his mistake. Life has endless possibilities for success to an Alpha Male. He loves to win and is good at it. When he screws up, he simply takes note of the lesson to be learned and goes on. While other males -- Bullies, especially, because they care so much about their public image -- keep going over and over their mistake, an Alpha Male never wastes time beating himself up after the fact.  

Page 3: Alpha Males Are Leaders

A Bully, first and foremost, will never (or rarely, and only then by mistake) go up against someone or something bigger and stronger than he is. He's happiest with a soft target (a widow or a child are always a safe choice), and he seeks a large audience. 

Bullies are grandstanders. They love to have people see them vanquish the person they are attacking. They are always wondering how they look to other people, but inside their bluster and aggression, they are actually scared. A Bully will shrink in horror before anyone strong enough to actually challenge him.    

Alpha Males are exactly the opposite: they are the least self-aware men in existence, because they do not think about how they appear to anyone else. They don't think about themselves much at all. Their energies are directed toward reading the situation at hand, getting the job (whatever it may be) done and moving on. Their self-confidence stems from this.   

In comparing the animal world to the human world, an Alpha Male wolf and an Alpha Male human are nearly identical in many important ways. Both are true leaders, protective of their pack (girlfriend, teammates and friends, or wife and kids), absolutely loyal, and completely self-confident. They know that they can handle whatever comes their way. They tend to be gifted physically (although not always), and they are often low-key until there is a need for action. They never accept that someone else has the right to rule them (even in the Army, they keep a part of themselves independent). And they are the best leaders of men there are.   

A true Alpha Male is strong, smart and a pack builder. He leads, provides for and protects his pack. And he has fun doing it.

With her husband XY, XX is the author of ALPHA MALE: Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want/How To Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One.

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A Great Book Review!

by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Tuesday, April 5, 2011 at 5:49am

Wondering if our book is right for you? Wonder what others say about it?

Read a great book review at http://books-old-and-new.blogspot.com/2011/04/alpha-male-by-xx-and-xy.html

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Whose Fault Is It When Someone Cheats?

by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Monday, April 4, 2011 at 6:22am

Q:  I've been in a close relationship with my boyfriend for two years. We live together, and of course we agreed not to go out with other people. He is 26 and I am 25. He still has his job, but I lost mine last year and I'm on unemployment, so I'm home while he's at work.

Lately I have felt something was going on, because he seemed to have to work late a lot and had things to do on weekends with his buddies more than in the past. And then one of my girlfriends told me she had seen him with a girl at a mall about 20 miles from here (he didn't see her). They were holding hands and were obviously more than just friends. 

 Here is my question -- since my boyfriend is obviously cheating on me, don't I have the right to cheat on him? 

-- Allie M

A:   It's about time everyone stood up straight and admitted the obvious: Cheating is a sneaky, second-rate kind of thing to do, and whoever cheats is entirely responsible for this behavior. No, there is NO excuse and there are NO extenuating circumstances that are worth anything. We are all responsible for our own actions.

If you are in a relationship and you are not happy being there (as you certainly have a right to be, given what you have described), quit it honorably by saying (calmly and coolly if you possibly can -- it's more effective) exactly why you are leaving, and then LEAVE.

What's so bad about cheating? Why shouldn't you cheat on him if he cheats on you? This: It makes YOU less of a person. You get a thin layer of slime that never leaves you and becomes part of your own life's history. Choose not to live like that, no matter how big a jerk your boyfriend is. Live a life worthy of respect of other people. You'll like yourself better. You deserve to be better than that. 

Here's something you may want to take a look at: Pages 86 to 90 in the Alpha Male book explain how a GUY sees the live-together arrangement. It is something you should know before you walk into this trap a second time. There is a saying:" Why buy a cow when milk is so cheap?"

Being with a guy you love full-time is wonderful. In my view it beats any other way of life, including a great single life (not everyone agrees of course, but many do agree). If you are looking for a truly great guy to love and commit to, you need to read this book, because it will give you the benefit of experiences of loads of other women and girls in relationships that worked out (and why) and didn't work out (and why). It also shows you exactly how to find a really cool, wonderful guy, what to do to get him interested in you, how to get him to fall in love with you.

If you know a girl or woman in a similar situation to yours, send her this message too. Knowing what you are dealing with is a good start on changing your situation from unacceptable (what you described) to great. And yes, it can be done.

-- XX

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by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Monday, March 28, 2011 at 6:33am

Q:   I am 38, never married (I have never met the right man), attractive (although not movie star looks). I am a real estate agent with a good firm and a successful career, I have many women friends, who tend to be work related because I work such long hours and every weekend. 

I simply don't meet eligible men. They are either already married, or else they are not, to put it bluntly, up to my standards. From what I have been hearing, I am looking for an Alpha Male.

My problem is twofold:

First: I don't meet the right men, and I don't know where to meet them. When I was in my twenties, I wanted a career, and I wasn't interested in marriage, and pretty much ignored the large numbers of available guys who were everywhere. Now most of the good ones are already married. 

Second: Once I am face to face with a man I really do think is potentially interesting and whom I would like to know better, I'm embarrassed to say simply freeze up and don't know what to say to him.  So I miss even those rare opportunities when I do by chance meet someone I would like to get to know.

 I want to find a really top quality man that I could fall in love with (and him with me) and get married.  I think I would make a great wife. When I analyze it objectively, I am at least as good looking, personable and smart as many women I know who are married to well above average men. Where can I find worthwhile men in their thirties and forties? And how can I learn what to say to them so I don't get self conscious?

-- Serena W

A:  You have identified correctly the heart of the problem: Once you are in your thirties or forties, most of the men you knew as young unattached guys in their twenties have long since married. Add to that that you are, like most adults, busy trying to make a living, and it becomes even harder to meet eligible men because you have so little time. You might add a third factor:  Some, although by no means all, men look for younger women, so even some men in your own age group may be out of consideration. 

Fortunately, there are two steps you can take that will dramatically improve your chances of meeting your husband-to-be.

Chapter 2 of the Alpha Male book lists six pages of places to go to meet Alpha Male men (pages 48 to 53). Some of these places may surprise you! 

Here is another idea specifically relevant to your own situation:

Because you are a realtor, you possess a highly useful expertise. You can use it in your search to find the right man. You will often meet interesting, successful (in every sense of the word, not merely in financial terms) men on the boards of non profit organizations. Men with a strong social conscience, who care about the environment, social justice, sports for disadvantaged kids, or low income housing, may well be members on non profit boards and worth meeting;  some of them may be widowed or even never married, like you. Your knowledge of real estate can be useful in many situations. Give some thought to which non profits you could make a contribution to with your expertise in real estate, and give them a call, offering to sit in on their meetings or even become a board member.

As to your feelings of shyness when talking to men, the answer is brilliantly simple, and it has worked for countless women and girls. It is easy to grasp from the ultra clear description, spelled out step by step, in the Alpha Male book  (beginning on page 70).

The book also tells exactly how to go about catching the attention of a man you are interested in, and what to do that makes it likely he will ask you out (pages 54 to 65).

Statistically, there is an Alpha Male somewhere at this very moment who would be exactly the right husband for you, and for whom you would be exactly the right wife. Finding him is a process. Your chances of finding him sooner rather than later are hugely enhanced by reading the Alpha Male book. This is exactly what the book is about. Your desire to have a great marriage is definitely achievable. Read up, and use the information to make the process clear, understandable, and likely to happen a lot faster. 

-- XX

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I've Read and Listened To Plenty of Advisors on Meeting Men Already-- Why Should I Read THIS Book?

by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Monday, March 21, 2011 at 4:59am

Q:  So far all the books I've read about meeting men have told me that I should become "a siren" or "a goddess" or "a bitch" or that I should "love myself" more, or gave tips for learning to "feel good about myself".

All this is good advice, but what I really want is the nuts and bolts of (1) identifying a potentially great guy instead of those who seem attractive at first but are not the kind I want on a long term basis (2) getting a man I really am interested in to notice me and be interested  in me (3) what to do and say that will help me keep his attention long term and have true commitment on both sides, and (4) pointers for what I can do to make a relationship  or marriage work.

I'm not interested in a pep talk or generalities about life. I want real information, things that have been tested and proved useful to other girls and women and have helped them successfully find a wonderful guy they later married and stayed happy and in love  with.

I know this can happen, but the books I have checked out so far seem more like morale boosting, not real strategies for finding a life partner. Is this book any different?

-- Seriously Looking

A:  Yes, this book IS significantly different from those you describe. It is just what you need: It is factual, easy to read, thoroughly researched and field tested by real men and real women, and loaded with strategies that absolutely do work. Told from both male and female points of view, it gives a clear, full picture of the topics it covers (all those you listed, and a lot more). 

 The single most interesting aspect of the book is that it gives you a crystal clear understanding of how almost all males are motivated and "hardwired". Some books will tell you that "today men and women  are SO different from the past" but the facts are, men have been quite consistent in how they function in the world for a very, very long time. You won't get far if you think men have changed or can BE changed to fit some modern day notion. What you need to do is to take a good look at how they actually ARE, and learn from specific examples what you need to do to interact in a good way with a man you are interested in. 

This book is concise and to the point. It spells everything out so you can follow it immediately.

In addition, there are throughout the book many brief  interviews with Alpha Males who tell in their own words what they look for in a girl or woman, what attracts them, what turns them off, what they want in a woman they can fully trust and commit to for a lifetime. The strategies in the book very often lead to proposal, marriage, and a happy life with the man you chose. The book gives you the tools to make this happen. And, it may be worth mentioning, the book costs about $22 on Amazon, not hundreds of dollars for "courses" offered by others. Take a look at reviews by readers on Amazon.com for an idea of how people, both men and women, view the book. 

-- XX

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by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Friday, March 18, 2011 at 12:49pm

Q:  I've been dating a great guy for almost a six months. He's 27, I'm 24. We go together just great. All my friends are jealous of me because of this guy. I met him at the gym when I beat him at squash. He says he let me win so he could get my cellphone number. I knew from the first time we went out that he was "the one". We've been pretty much almost living together anyhow, because I spend a couple nights a week and every weekend at his condo. I'm really excited he asked me to live with him.

He says he wants to try out being together 24/7 before deciding to get married. I think I'm making a smart move so he won't find someone else. After all, I'll be there all the time and make sure he doesn't have any reason to meet anybody else. And he says he loves me and wants to marry me but he's not ready for that kind of commitment yet. He says he is committed to me because he wants to live together. This will lead to marrying him, right?

-- Angie R

A:  He's the dream guy of your life. He wants you to be his in every way, except for full commitment on his part right now. He tells you he loves you. He wants you to live with him as a trial marriage, until he feels ready to get married for real. You love him and want to be with him.  You can't wait to move in full time.

And you are about to make a HUGE mistake.  What this will do is drastically cut down your chances of actually having him propose  to you and marry you.

The reasons for this have far more to do with how he views himself than how he views you. So, what you do on a day to day basis when living with him will have little or no effect on how likely he is to fall for you romantically (the number one reason that men propose and actually marry). It will not be in your control to "fix" the situation, no matter how hard you try or what you do.

We have talked to many, many women, now in their 30's, who have lived with a man they love and thought they were going to marry, who have found themselves dumped, often in their 30's, for another woman, frequently younger, whom their guy almost immediately married. It's almost as though he used them for a learning experience, then when he got his ducks all in a row, went shopping and found a younger, newer prospect and married her almost sight unseen. Yet these men are not "bad guys" -- they are simply responding to a situation that makes it almost certain that this will happen.

The reason this happens so often is that this male behavior is deeply rooted in how men see themselves, not how they see women. Men are moved by very strong primal instincts that have governed their behavior over millions of years, and you have no way to change these instincts.  You could almost say "It's all about him" and be right. 

Before you  jump into this plan of living together, you need to read page 88 and page 104  of the Alpha Male book immediately, and also all of Chapters Four and Five, which will give you a quick understanding of the forces that are driving your guy's emotions right now, and how this will affect you if you decide to live with him prior to marriage. The sad part is that the women in their 30's who were dumped after living for years in a "trial marriage" with the man they loved, besides being stunned and broken hearted, feel they have wasted some of the best years of their lives. Get the right information before you make what could be a life changing mistake. If you do still decide to move in together,at least you will be doing so with your eyes open.

There is an alternative, which is MUCH more likely to lead to marriage, however. And this is spelled out step-by-step in the Alpha Male book. 

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by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Monday, March 7, 2011 at 5:36am

Q:  I'm 36 years old and never married, although I would like to marry within the next two or three years. I run a yoga school for women, which I founded, which has taken almost all my time over the past ten years. Now I am in a steady relationship (after a couple of bad-choice relationships). I am seriously considering marrying my boyfriend. I know that he wants to marry me.

But I have noticed something a little bit odd about the him. When we are together, we have a pleasant time, although it is not exactly exciting. I wish it were more exciting, but I stay in the relationship because my past two relationships were exciting, but as things turned out, pretty toxic too. At least I am not going to get hurt emotionally by this guy.   

What is odd is that whenever other guys are around, such as at a party at his apartment or mine, or if we go out to dinner with another couple or maybe two couples, he acts much, much more overtly affectionate than he ever does when we're alone. He kisses me, and puts his arm around me, and acts really different from how he acts when we're alone. What's going on? Is he is really interested in me, or is something else going on here? It seems almost as if he's insecure.

 -- Jennifer M

A:  You've picked up on exactly what is happening -- this guy, whatever his good qualities may be, is terribly insecure. He has a number of nice qualities (he's pleasant and not stressful to be around, he isn't out to hurt you in any way) and that has been enough to keep you in the relationship. When he is with you alone, he feels content and unthreatened and you have a good time together. But when others, especially other males, are around, he feels threatened. He perceives them to be more attractive to women than he is, so he is "marking" you as "his". 

Male dogs do the same thing: the first dog pees on a tree, and then the next male comes over, "observes" (by sniffing) and pees exactly over the first dog's pee mark. The second dog is saying, "You may think this territory and that female are yours, but I am better than you because I can obliterate your mark. Watch me!"

Your boyfriend is doing the same thing to tell the other guys "She's with me, see how close we are physically, don't try to move in on my woman." If one of the other men showed special attention to you, he would be very upset, but probably would not do anything as direct as punching him in the nose.

The man you describe is a Beta Male, not an Alpha Male. He will never be a genuine Alpha (although he may attempt to learn some aspects of Alpha behavior, it will always be learned behavior and not natural to him). 

What should you do? You have a choice to make. If you like this situation enough, and can accept him for what hie is, which is a middle of the pack guy who never will lead (he will expect you to do this) or willingly take risks, then marry this man. He will probably be a good husband, even if, as you have said, he's not all that exciting to be with. There are a lot worse things than being a little bored. And he may show more interesting sides to his character once he feels really secure in a marriage as opposed to dating. He could be a very good choice.

But you should definitely apply the Three Month Rule -- on page 92 of the Alpha Male book. Also take a look at pages 15 to 23, "Also Rans" (i.e. not Alpha Males). 

There is no "correct answer" as to whether an Alpha or a Beta male is the right choice for you -- it is simply a matter of understanding what you are choosing. If you really want a relationship with an Alpha Male but are dating a Beta, you'll feel vaguely dissatisfied with things for the rest of your life if you marry him. But by using the Three Month Rule you can make a decision. Many women find that Alphas are without question the most fun, the most interesting and the most exciting men to be around.( If you want a full description of Alpha Males, you'll find it in the book).  But they're not for everyone. Read the advice and then make up your own mind.

 -- XX

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I Have Trouble Talking To The Guys I Like

by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Monday, February 28, 2011 at 5:40am

Q: I have this weird problem. Even though my I am ok looking (well sort of pretty actually) and have a lot of girlfriends, I get really really shy and tongue tied when I try to talk to cute guys that are cool and that I really like. I never know what to say to them and I end up feeling like a dork. It's especially bad at parties and I think they always think I'm stupid because I can't say anything that makes sense and my face even turns red sometimes which makes it even worse. With regular guys I'm not interested in I don't have any problems at all. There are quite a few that are interested in me and I can talk to them all day no problems, only I still can't talk to the ones I really like. I am already a junior in HS and I don't want to live like this the rest of my life.    Is there anything you can tell me so I can learn to talk to cute guys?      

-- Angelina M

A:  Yes, there most certainly is! What you need to do is read through the part of the book that tells you exactly how to handle this very situation (which is not uncommon, by the way). Then, read it a couple more times, so you get familiar with it enough to begin to internalize it. You won't have to memorize anything, but by reading it over more than once, you'll get familiar enough with the concept and strategy so it will feel natural to you, and you will be able to put it into practice the next time you are face to face with a guy you want to talk to.  The pages you want are 57-61. And yes, it has been tested out by zillions of women and it really does work.

But, before you read that part, you MUST read page 53-55 first. Unless you set things up this way first, the rest won't work, or at least won't work nearly as well.

Remember, the more you use a new tool (and that is what this is) the easier and more natural it will feel to you. Practice it each chance you get, and you'll fix the problem completely. Be realistic: it doesn't happen perfectly on the first try for most girls, but it DOES work if you keep at it and it becomes natural to you.

 -- XX

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How "Available" should I be when a guy calls that I really, really like?

by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Monday, February 21, 2011 at 5:06am

Q:  I've met a very cool guy at, of all places, Pep Boys. I was trying to figure out what sort of fuel additive I need for my diesel car. This gorgeous guy and his buddy were standing nearby and came over to where I was reading all the labels. The taller guy, who looks enough like Tom Cruise to be his younger brother started talking like a salesman. I thought he worked there.  We talked about fuel additives for a while, then he told me he doesn't work at Pep Boys, but he does know about what to use in a diesel car because he has one too, and he asked me for my cell phone number. (He is working part time at a warehouse while he finishes up a degree at our local college. He had to drop out of college to help his mom, so he's completing his degree in IT locally).

I really liked this guy (his buddy isn't bad,either!). He even has an accent (originally from South Carolina). I want to go out with him, but I am starting to worry about not being "cool enough" for a guy like this. I am sure he can get any girl to go out with him, and I don't want to mess up my chances. He asked me out for tomorrow night, and even told me to bring a girlfriend to date his buddy Ron.

What I'm wondering is if I made a mistake saying yes to a date on such short notice. I also don't really know how to "get his attention" when we go out so he won't think me just another "date" and forget all about me after we go out. Is there anything you can tell me that will improve my chances?

-- Michelle K 

A:  Dear Michelle

Yes, there are a couple of things you should know. First, check him out and be sure he is who he says he is (enrolled at the college in IT for example) since you don't know anything about him.  Next, your instinct that you may have said "yes" to being asked out so quickly is right -- you should not have made yourself so "available."  It would have been better to follow the advice in Chapter Three (starting on page 68). But since you already said you would go, stick to your plan. Regarding how to differentiate yourself from other girls he has dated, there's a terrific way to do this which has accomplished exactly what you want for countless other girls and women. This advice starts on page 70 and runs to the end of the chapter. By the way, it's a great plan to take along a female friend as a date for his buddy. This makes the atmosphere more "fun" and less of a "serious dating" feeling, which is a very good thing. It gives everyone a chance to have some laughs, and not encounter any awkward moments on a first date. Let us know how it turns out!

-- XX

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How Can I Tell If He's Really Interested In Me?

by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Monday, February 14, 2011 at 6:31am

Q:  I was in a long term relationship for nearly three years, and was pretty devastated when my boyfriend (I had thought he was my fiance!) finally told me he wanted to be "just friends". It has taken me nearly a year to even feel like dating again. 

Now I've met an awesome guy who I am beginning to get seriously interested in who says he's crazy about me, and we always have fun together (mostly sporting events, he plays ice hockey and I often watch him and his buddies play). The trouble is, he sometimes will just "disappear" for days or even a week at a time, and not answer calls or text messages at all. Then he calls, and tells me he was "just busy" or "had family obligations". I am sort of hurt by this, or am I being too sensitive because I was hurt before? Should I just hang in there until he proves how much he cares about me?

A:  What has happened to you has happened to countless other women. The guy seems really interested in you, but then keeps getting elusive and disappearing without explanation. When he's with you everything seems just right, but you have this nagging feeling something is missing and you don't get any answers. You're potentially interested in a real relationship with this guy. But it's upsetting when he distances himself from you, and then shows up again as if nothing had happened. So, what should you do?  

Look at The Three Month Rule. on page 92 of the Alpha Male book. If you follow the advice, you'll get a clear answer and you won't be kept dangling from now on. Also, your dates with him sound like he is making no effort and you just go along with whatever he was going to do anyhow. You need to read all of Chapter 3 and Chapter 4, and turn this scene around. It will not take you anywhere you want to go the way you are handling it so far. Yet you can easily turn the situation 180 degrees around if you follow the advice. Let us know how things go! 

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More than half all American women looking for commitment from their guy will fail - - Here's why

by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Monday, February 7, 2011 at 8:42am

More than half all American women looking for commitment from their guy will fail -- they're doing the exact opposite of what they need to do to make him fall in love and commit to her forever. Most women and girls are doing what they strongly believe is right -- and they're 180 degrees off. What they are doing is what our society has told them to do. And it doesn't work.

It's an often quoted statistic that 52 percent of all marriages end in divorce. The number is actually probably much higher. That doesn't even account for the women trapped in a marriage they can't leave for financial reasons or think they should remain in for the sake of their children.

What this shows is a huge disconnect between what women want and what men want -- and no language between them that actually bridges the gap. Whether you're in marriage or a relationship, the inability to understand not just what a guy is doing, but WHY he does it is crucial to connecting with him in a way that leads to commitment.

Women just don't really understand men. They've been taught in today's world to regard men as simply a male version of themselves. Women make assumptions based on how females think and feel and not how males think and feel. Women don't actually know why men behave as they do, and they don't know what to do when men behave in ways that seem incomprehensible to them. How can women turn this situation around and get real, lasting commitment from their guy?

Luckily, there is a way!  Even an average woman can attract a great guy, and then make him fall in love with her. And stay in love with her for the rest of his life. Believe it or not, this is a learned skill. If you follow some clear concepts you can learn to bring about real, lasting commitment. No, it won't work every time. But it will work a lot of the time. And those are much better odds than most women are facing now. Read this book and get started taking charge of your life.

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If you want to REALLY understand men, you MUST read this book!

by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Friday, December 3, 2010 at 5:25am

Tired of dead-end dating? Seen through the fallacy of “hooking up”? Ready to meet a truly cool, wonderful guy to love and commit to? Want the right guy to love and commit to you for a lifetime?

With this book you’ll get the insider’s edge. Find out what Alpha Males actually say themselves about women, sex, and above all, finding someone to love and commit to. 

Everything in this book has been heavily field-tested by real men and real women. You’ll find out how to identify the one guy you really want for a lifetime, and you’ll save a lot of valuable time wasted chasing after the wrong guys (something we’ve all done!).

You can find out exactly how to go about finding, meeting, attracting -- and marrying -- the man you want.  It’s all possible if you are willing to follow some basic rules, all spelled out, step by step, in this new book.

This advice worked for countless women who are average in looks, social opportunities, and finances. Yet they all attracted (and even married) top rate Alpha Male guys. There is no reason for anyone to settle for second best.

There are plenty of case histories of actual men and women in the book that will give you the information you need to succeed brilliantly. You’ll even find out how one woman was able to become an Alpha Male magnet!

Despite differences in style, education, social background, looks, experience, job, and interests, nearly all men are motivated by the same two primal forces. By learning what they are and how to use them, you can prove to the man you want that you are the one and only woman he will ever need.

Get the book, read it, and use the knowledge to take charge of your own life, starting from this moment.

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I've been in love with the same Alpha guy for 4 years.

by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Thursday, December 2, 2010 at 1:01pm

"I've been in love with the same Alpha guy for 4 years. Every time I tried to bring the conversation around to the subject of marriage, he said there was plenty of time for that, why change a good relationship, etc., etc.

"I just bought Alpha Male (book) and I did what it said on page 104. My boyfriend proposed. We're getting married this May. I can't begin to say how happy I am. This book is AWESOME."

-D.T., Philadelphia, PA

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Don’t settle for less than the best!

by Cool Guys = Alpha Males on Sunday, November 21, 2010 at 6:08pm

This book is for women who are serious about finding the right man, women who want factual, no-nonsense information. You’ll learn step-by-step in clear, simple language what you need to do to find and attract the Alpha Male of your choice.

This books also tells you:

  1. How to identify a true Alpha Male and also to identify the imposters.
  2. How to use his natural characteristics to make him commit to you.
  3. The single most important thing to remember about your wedding to an Alpha Male.
  4. And, most important of all, how to make him really, really glad he committed to you, every single day.

ALPHA MALE can help almost every woman you know: Give it to a daughter, a classmate, a mother, a niece, a wife, or a friend.

Above all, read the book yourself!

Order Now from Amazon.com


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Alpha Male: Who They Are, How They Think, What They Want, How to Attract, Meet, Marry & Train One: By XX and XY

"If you want to REALLY understand men,

you MUST read this book!"

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